If you have a cat (can you have just one?) or have spent enough time in their company, you probably noticed that they can be entirely silent, stealthy, and suddenly RIGHT THERE like something in a Stephen King novel. They can also sound like a stampeding herd of buffalo that is about to collapse the floor beneath them. I’ve noticed that depending on how my day or week is going, I have more or less ability to tolerate the noise that is assailing me from myriad sources. The noise may consist of actual sounds or it may consist of information. Common culprits are email, social media, phone calls, texts, pop-up commercials/ads, traffic, people talking, people chewing, people who have the bass really cranked up in the next car/house/apartment over, that person who mows their lawn and then uses a leaf blower like someone blow-drying a Chia Pet for 90 minutes at 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday… you get the idea. The noise of life can impact me like a stealthy, silent cat that really doesn’t invade my awareness or distract me too much until it’s right in my face or it can be more like the relentless thudding of furry feet in a Pamplona formation directly overhead when I am trying to sleep. Same cats, two very different experiences of their presence.
Essentially, there are many things in your life with which you are coexisting – some by choice, some by random room assignment – that may impact you very differently, depending on the day. You may notice increased mental fatigue, apathy or sadness when you receive dozens of notifications every day about distressing, angering, frustrating events happening all over the world. You may feel helpless and hopeless as you ingest more and more news detailing problems over which you have no control and are unable to help resolve. You may find that your ability to tolerate hearing your friend complain about their relationship, an exam, their parents, or a very resistant blackhead is becoming more difficult by the hour. You may feel impatient, irritable, down, on edge, or even engage in fantasies about grabbing nothing but a backpack and moving to the Canary Islands (or channeling your inner Dexter). All of those reactions are pretty normal when you’re getting overwhelmed by the noise.
Developing a strategy by which you reduce the noise in your life is really an extension of setting boundaries and saying “no” as I discussed in an earlier blog: Say "Yes" to Saying "No!":
This strategy just relies more on you saying “no” to yourself, which is often even harder than saying it to other people. First, determine what signals your need for a noise reduction. Does your head hurt? Are you struggling to sleep as thoughts of world events bounce around your brain? (That may explain the headache.) Is it hard to concentrate? Does the sound of one more text message from your parents make you clench your teeth or other body parts? Does the sound of one from your closest friend even make you sigh deeply and toss the phone on your bed as you think, “Ugh, I just can’t”? Perhaps it is the sound of a person nearby bouncing their leg rapidly causing the denim on their jeans to make that zsh-zsh-zsh friction noise or someone doing that sinus-clearing-throat-gulping noise that makes you want to leap up, grab your hair in your hands, and scream “SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” in their face (while politely offering them a tissue or Neti Pot). I think those reactions would all be good indications that you need to reduce some of the noise in your life.
Start by minimizing your exposure to things you find immediately upsetting or frustrating. Set a limit for those things if you can’t entirely avoid them. For example, take a break from watching the news and turn off any app notifications. Major world events will still find their way to your ears through other people but you won’t be inundated by the sensationalized version of what is happening, multiple times daily. Quite often, there is no “new” news when the 11th notification about the same event pops up in a two-hour period. Perhaps limiting yourself to one news session per day is a healthy boundary for you. The same idea can be applied to texts, phone calls, messaging, social media engagement, etc. If you find yourself annoyed that you feel expected or even obligated to hit the “like” button (or worse, the “love” button) on people’s wonderful news/accomplishment/date/award/pedicure/exotic vacation posts, it may be time to limit your scrolling to a brief check-in a few times per week. Sometimes, you may need to take a complete break from your social media, the news, or your usual study spot that has been infiltrated by Slytherins - who are not being at all quiet - and reset.
Lil’ Bit, reducing the noise of Mommy singing “Lavender Haze” for the 13th time this morning.
How you choose to limit the noise may require some tinkering as you determine what your threshold for bullshit is (sorry, my mind when to the sound of political ads) and adjust accordingly. The way in which you choose to reset could be to go full Walden or simply leave your phone in the other room when you’re eating or spending time with friends or attempting to sleep. Getting immersed in nature is a wonderful way to live more noiselessly. Yes, birds make noise and trees talk to each other and rivers can rise up and unhorse The Nine, but nature sounds are likely to become part of the background and even be soothing and align with our bodies’ natural rhythms. I understand not everyone finds nature sounds soothing. I admit that a murder of crows in the tree outside of your bedroom window is not soothing in the least at 5:00 a.m. Therefore, as I often will, I encourage you to try different things and see what helps you reduce the noise in your life, have a healthier relationship with the noise that remains, and hopefully, significantly reduce the likelihood that you’ll turn into an enormous green rage monster. (If you do, call me.)
Thanks for reading! You’ve been Smudged,
Tracy
